November 22nd, 2009

maybe now is the time to pull out.

maybe now there will be enough impact to break his heart as he broke mine.

i'm a cold hard bitch

and i'm driven, goddammit.

will this save my opinion of myself?

will this salvage the person i was from the depths of my self-hatred?

forget it.

so much of the life "essentials" have been ruined for me forever.

friendship and love and sex mean little to me.

conquer, conquest, now those are words i can enjoy.

my self esteem only benefits from the hunt.

i'm trapped. i'm bored.

i'm pointless.

there's no draw to attempting to go back to the person i was now.

it's not possible anyhow.

ugh. i hate having any emotion at all. i hate being anything more or less than a success machine.

it's a livejournal kind of life.